The Golden Circle obsessively fancies the ballyhoo of The Secret Service. But this only led to the realization of the predecessor’s superiority. And when Statesman become relevant, all the king’s horses and all Kingsman couldn’t put this film back together again.

Harry (Firth), the high-flying haberdasher with his stylish action sequences and intelligence, captivated us and Vaughn was well aware he was needed again. So Harry, not so subtly but miraculously, returns congruent to the outlandish premise of Kingsman. Sadly, he lacked his defining pizzazz. Eggsy (Egerton) cements his childish and confrontational charm but he functions best when Harry’s at his. Therefore, it can be said, that the film’s prerequisite for success proved to be its downfall.

POTUS’ (Greenwood) self-aggrandizing and flaky leadership was perfectly explored and certainly the highlight. Champ (Bridges) and Poppy (Moore) as opposing figureheads of newly introduced organizations results in mediocrity; sadly foiling the reunion of The Dude and Maude. And Elton John performing physical comedy was like watching that circus strongman get hit with the cannonball.

Even with its favorable oddity and folly taken into account, we confidently move to checkmate on Kingsman: The Golden Circle with 2.11 napkins out of 5.

In Popcornia, VT, home of FC HQ, we sometimes excitedly gather to discuss pictures that aim to simply toss us around for a couple of hours. American Assassin isn’t searching for identity, supremacy or ultimatum; only to keep your attention level, and respiratory rate, high. And in that regard, this film is solid.

This version of Mike Keaton, a brazen cocktail of many prior roles is, as a whole, the likes of which we haven’t seen. With his chiseled exterior and special ops moxie, Stan Hurley (Keaton) grips our attention as the obvious, and not-so-obvious, twists unfold. He begs us to trust him, despise him and favor him and we fall in line with all three. Mitch Rapp (O’Brien) is a balloon of focused rage after tragedy befalls. True to form, his picaroon style snoops around the world to wherever revenge could be had and displays a charming propensity for disobedience at each intersection.

As it progresses, the story noticeably trips over itself but not enough to ruin the film; only to recognize that four screenwriters were bumbling around the movie. American Assassin cannot track down that elusive third whole napkin, coming in at 2.97 out of 5.